I love ice cream, don’t you? Of course you do! Well, you should anyway. Today, I received a ticket to buy the best ice cream in the world at half price! How magnificent is that? Oh yeah! Uhu uhu! So! I held the ice cream in my hands elegantly and cautiously. Then I started reading what it said, It simply said Sweet. Sweet? That’s a strange name for the best ice cream in the world? So I opened the wrapper exquisitely and… nibbled… yuck! The taste was soooo, what’s the word? extremely bitter! But it said ‘sweet’ on the wrapper!
Dear Zain,
ReplyDeleteI like the opening of this paragraph - asking a question immediately draws your reader 'in'. Great punctuation and varied sentence length. Eating an ice-cream 'elegantly and cautiously' sounds wonderful! Well done. Mrs T.
Thnaks Mrs. T! This is all because of u and what u taught me!
ReplyDeleteI like the voice you've created in this story, Zain, and the way you talk to the reader. As Mrs T says, it draws us in.
ReplyDelete