It had been a while since I
broke my arm… 3 years in fact. I remember the time when it happened… I was on
my bike riding unbelievably quickly and then precipitously a rugby ball shattered
my front wheel! The bike broke its front wheel and I broke my arm. Since that
day on, although the doctors said it had healed up, my arm wasn’t the same as
before. Suddenly the pain in my arm
was back for the first time in 9 months. I grabbed my arm and had a look at it…
it was bright purple.
What happened, why is the pain back? You give the reader so much information about how your arm was broken and then, in contrast, do not tell him why it is now bright purple... So now, of course, the reader wants to read on, which is exactly what every author is trying to achieve - and you have!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant style, Divij.
Mrs T.
I agree, I'm eager to know what happened next. Beautifully put together and wonderful use of vocabulary: precipitously, shattered etc. I also quite like the plot of the story.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the brilliant work!
Mitu Shah