The
troubling noise came again, the deep, rolling sound of a storm. The wind rushed past the window of the
reception room where I was sitting. I was not surprised, the violent
storm was coming. It was freezing outside; the dog must have come in,
but I wanted to check myself, to make sure.
I opened the door, a powerful current of air pushed through
the room! I managed to stay upright, I stared around the garden, but it was no
use, I could not see a thing. I quickly
grabbed a torch and walked outside; my dog was nowhere…
Love your story Sara..... this story was creepy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Sara,
ReplyDeleteYour word selections are immediately engaging. Attributing the word 'troubling' to the storm in the beginning of the piece sets the stage perfectly for an overall feeling of uneasiness.
Perhaps give a look at your sentence construction. The sentence that starts with 'I managed' could be split up into smaller sentences that would cause the story to feel more suspenseful.
It is an intriguing piece of writing. The cliffhanger ending is a superb twist. Your story was a pleasure to read. When you headed outside with the torch I got shivers up my neck!