Looking down, I
was surprised to see a birds-eye view of London…
OH, OH, I just
realized I was falling in mid-air, and then I remembered what had happened. It
all began when I was sitting on my desk doing my rotten homework; four blank-faced
men shattered into my room and grabbed me…
I felt a backpack
on my back … it was a parachute! I rapidly opened it,but it was blocked; now I
knew it was the end, I waited and waited for the last drop to fall on me, I
felt the cold breeze of the wind; finally…
Kalzang-- It was interesting the way you began in the present, went to the past to give more information, then returned to the present and then left the conclusion up to your reader's imagination. Somehow I have the feeling that you don't crash to earth, but, of course, you never let us in on the final conclusion.
ReplyDeleteSuggestion: Is 'shattered' the correct word for how the men came into your room? I'm not sure I've heard it used that way before.
Ms. Sargent
Team 100 WC