It’s the time of year were all the leaves plunge to the
ground, nevertheless Halloween is close too. Me, and my friends usually
organize a party on the 31st however not this year. We've decided to acquire
our own sweets.
On the 31st, we all met up at the town
churchyard, all with are Halloween costumes and our bags able to carry 3kg of
sweets.
All the houses on our map were done, but walking back to the
churchyard, an elongated driveway dragged us down to a whopping tree. Looking
up, in the tree was a treehouse with a ladder that lent up to it.
Hi Sara,
ReplyDeleteI love your use of description here. The way you have used personification to describe the driveway dragging you down really paints a clear picture, as does the way the leaves plunge their way to the ground.
You have used a mixture of tenses here - I can see why, but can you think why it could be confusing to begin with the present then move into the past?
Wonderful writing, thank you for sharing.
Mr Connor
Year 5 teacher
Derby, UK
Great use of adjectives, you have also used great connectives and how you started the story was amazing!
ReplyDeleteJust when you wrote Me, and my friends, I would of wrote Me and my friends with no comma.
Your imagination is immense and very passionate to read!
Well done!!